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is that a motherfucking homestuck reference in the year of our lord 2018

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[Her fingers drum impatiently, but given he's just suffered through a trauma, she'll bite her tongue for a little longer.]

Go on.

[He's clearly got some sort of idea in mind-- and he's a clever boy. Clever enough that he's worth minding.]

[ stiles drops his hand from his throat, turns his palm up and out, about hip-level. he wets his lips, drags his teeth over the bottom one as he tries to gather his thoughts into something that's concise and straightforward. which is nearly impossible, because this is stiles, but at least he recognizes that he is the way that he is, and who he's talking to. ]

When we first got here, they snapped those bracelets on us before we could leave. You remember? [ stiles sure as shit remembers, because it's how he met rosalind, and it's kind of hard to forget the resulting smothering in an alley. a n y w a y. ] If you filled out that survey truthfully, they came off easy. If you lied, you... paid a fine. [ #fearboner ] If you refused to pay the fine, well.

[ he gestures with his hand, shrugs. he doesn't really need to explain all this, because he's sure she knows. ]

So it seemed like those who lied were being punished, right? But then there was Tumin— Tu...minalia? Whatever. There was that, and I'm not 100% sure on this, but I'm pretty sure anyone who was still wearing their bracelet? They were treated like Gods. They were rewarded for lying, for refusing.

[ stiles pauses for a second, tries to bridge the points he's trying to make. ]

I refused to contract with someone, and I was sent below, demoted. Whatever you want to call it. But they said they would force a contract if we didn't find someone in time, and they didn't. Punishment... but rewarded. Maybe not by their standards, but the last thing I wanted was to be attached to someone. And I'm not.

[ he rubs his fingers against his forehead, squints a little. ]

I just. I don't know. It's called the Lies program. They're looking for the Deceit Gene. It's like they want...

[ he tapers off. ]

I do hear you. And you do have a good point.

[She takes a step forward, not so much to be intimidating but to get closer to him.]

But that being said: are you truly willing to risk yourself on a hint? They've taken away so much from you already. Do you want to see what else they might take away? Stiles, I don't disagree that-- that fighting against them is necessary, but not at your own risk. Not foolishly.

You can always break the contract. But it seems illogical to refuse on a whim when you haven't gotten more evidence yet. So: contract with me, and study more.

[ stiles doesn't back away from her when she steps closer. instead, he looks at her, silently, and for a long time. he thinks about all the risks he's ever taken, in the last two years of his life especially.

he thinks about all of the times he's found himself face to face with the barrel of a gun. all the times he's looked a predator in the eyes. he thinks about how he literally sacrificed his life, once, gave it in place of his father's, knowing there would be risks, both during at after.

this is not a risk, by comparison. in the face of everything else stiles has been through and gone up against, this is easy. this is nothing.

stiles blinks, lowers his gaze for only a moment. he likes rosalind. he really, truly does. he enjoys her company, appreciates her attitude, even if sometimes their stances on certain topics clash. he respects her, but— ]

I can't. [ he looks up, offers her the weakest attempt at a smile, lips closed, mouth tight. ] I'll be fine.

[ he's always fine. his headstone is going to read "i'm fine". ]

At least do me the courtesy of not lying to me, Stiles.

[She won't insist on it. He seems intent on his decision, and she won't argue pointlessly. But she does think this a mistake, and refuses to think otherwise. But she'll be waiting, if and when he changes his mind.]

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