I think I'd like to break in, if it's all right with you. The challenge would give me something to think about.
I'm trying not to indulge in the whim of shutting down and seeking to feel nothing at all. But it does seem a bit masochistic, forcing myself to feel so happy and so awful all at once.
[It is the right thing to do. Of course it is, and perhaps that's why it's so stunning to him: it goes against his very nature. Demons don't act unselfishly. They don't do the right thing, not when it hurts them so badly in the process.]
The night I was attacked, after he destroyed my room, I convinced him to stay with me. I remember I all but made a nest of his bed and just...huddled there, like a kit in a den.
I keep thinking of things I've grown accustomed to and realizing belatedly that this likely means I'm not allowed to have them anymore.
[It isn't that she's unsympathetic to his plight, after all.]
You're a tactile person, Kurama. For now, yes, I think things will rather edge towards one extreme, but it won't last. You'll be allowed to share a bed with him again, or hold his hand, or whatever other physical expressions of platonic affection you two have shared in the past. You'll be allowed that once more, once it won't hurt you both.
Keiko is a much kinder person than I am, Kurama. And Yusuke and she don't have the same relationship Robert and I do.
[So yes, she would hate him. She's loathe him, because the Luteces don't share well with others, not in the least. (And yet then again: would she hate someone her Robert had chosen? If he presented it well, if he took her hand and kissed her and said, look, look who I found for us . . . mm. Perhaps. Certainly it's something worth thinking about).]
But I don't think she'll hate you, no. She may be a little cold for a while, but it's as we said before: Yusuke isn't a prize. This is as much on his head as it is yours. If she's going to hate one of you, she'll hate both of you, and I don't think she will.
Oh, rest assured, he's been making a good faith effort. I've been finding quite a bit of use in his knack for getting around from place to place in a hurry.
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I'm trying not to indulge in the whim of shutting down and seeking to feel nothing at all. But it does seem a bit masochistic, forcing myself to feel so happy and so awful all at once.
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It's completely detrimental to my own self-interest, but I wouldn't feel any sort of satisfaction in seeing Keiko's feelings hurt.
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[It is the right thing to do. Of course it is, and perhaps that's why it's so stunning to him: it goes against his very nature. Demons don't act unselfishly. They don't do the right thing, not when it hurts them so badly in the process.]
But it still hurts, even so.
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(Before you ask, yes, I am speaking from personal experience.)
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[. . .]
I won't force you to make a choice right now. Nor will I force my company on you if you truly don't wish for it. But if you do break in: tell me?
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...Will you forgive me something, Rosalind?
My answer is yes — I'll tell you, whatever it is I do. But forgive me something first.
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There's a favor I want to ask of you, but I don't know how to ask it without running the risk of being cruel.
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It's more that I don't...want to smell him on you.
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I beg your pardon.
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Or is it primarily sex you're fussed about?
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Is that really a question you WANT an answer to?
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[Good grief.]
What precisely is it you're asking me to do, here?
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The night I was attacked, after he destroyed my room, I convinced him to stay with me. I remember I all but made a nest of his bed and just...huddled there, like a kit in a den.
I keep thinking of things I've grown accustomed to and realizing belatedly that this likely means I'm not allowed to have them anymore.
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[It isn't that she's unsympathetic to his plight, after all.]
You're a tactile person, Kurama. For now, yes, I think things will rather edge towards one extreme, but it won't last. You'll be allowed to share a bed with him again, or hold his hand, or whatever other physical expressions of platonic affection you two have shared in the past. You'll be allowed that once more, once it won't hurt you both.
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...
If you were in her place, her situation — would you hate me?
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[So yes, she would hate him. She's loathe him, because the Luteces don't share well with others, not in the least. (And yet then again: would she hate someone her Robert had chosen? If he presented it well, if he took her hand and kissed her and said, look, look who I found for us . . . mm. Perhaps. Certainly it's something worth thinking about).]
But I don't think she'll hate you, no. She may be a little cold for a while, but it's as we said before: Yusuke isn't a prize. This is as much on his head as it is yours. If she's going to hate one of you, she'll hate both of you, and I don't think she will.
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