originallutece | (no subject)

[he pushes lower the bill of his cap even as rosalind tells him her honest, unbiased opinion on the matter. she knows prompto, yes, but he figures that she isn't much of a bleeding heart as to try to say the nicest of things to him all the time. he feels frustrated--with ardyn, with togusa--because they're always saying things nicely around him, or at least that's what it feels like, at this point.]

[he can trust that rosalind is objective.]

I... I guess so... but, yeah, it's still hard.

[he knows she's right, and by the gods has she tried to be stronger about this and tell himself he doesn't need these kind of thoughts in his head.]

[...but then there's a laugh, deprecating as it may sound]

I'd love to stop feeling like people are better off without me. I know it isn't true, but with every stupid mistake I make, I just...

[a floundering shrug of his shoulders]

Mistakes like what?

[They turn the corner. There's a vendor there, selling . . . some kind of miscellaneous street food, and she adds:]

Do you want something?

[he shakes his head. he doesn't want her to feel obligated to get him anything, although those kebabs smell good...]

I guess, being myself, in general.

Saying things out of line, doing things without thinking...

Ah. You think if you could attain perfection, and not annoy anyone ever, it would be all right?

[She pauses, glancing over at him, and then makes her way to the vendor, buying two water bottles.]

You know, Ardyn and I had a bit of a fight back when I first got this app.

[She passes him a bottle.]

I wanted to conduct a dangerous experiment. It would have put my life in danger, and indeed might even kill me, but nonetheless I wanted to do so. He protested. He called me reckless, and he wasn't wrong, but . . .

[Well, anyway. Rosalind waves a hand, dismissing the point.]

My point is, simply because we fought doesn't mean either of us were-- were unworthy. You say Ardyn expects more of you? Perhaps. But if you supposedly let him down by being yourself, he isn't going to leave. Nor is he going to be inherently disappointed in you.

. . . you'll end up destroying yourself if you keep trying to change for everyone. You can't be perfect for everyone-- not only because everyone has a different standard, but because it's unfair to both them and you.

[he takes the bottle with a soft thank you, even if he never wanted her to spend her money on him. supposes... that's just how nice people are. so, he opens it and drinks up, having water in his system apparently refreshing him enough that he's now keeping eye level with her.]

That sounds like him.

[trying to be the voice of reason, he means. he smiles softly at that, because he really is fond of ardyn, as the father figure he never had, but the thought itself makes him sad, because he's let ardyn down... and said things to ardyn; mean things.]

[her words make sense, and a part of him wants to protest, but he knows that's just him being petulant.]

...I guess I thought that hardest part was something I already left behind. I didn't expect it to continue haunting me like this.

Mm. Another secret of adulthood: the traumas of childhood don't simply vanish, no matter how far you thought you've left them behind.

[She glances over at him. Standing up straight, he's a bit taller than her, but honestly, who isn't?]

. . . is it easier, though? In any capacity? Even if you don't feel it right now . . . surely having people around you must be better than being alone.

[it's her last statement that kind of... breaks through him a bit. yes, he's not entirely alone, and for once he has people that care enough for him that he's able to be angry at them for whatever stupid reason, without them threatening to cut off ties with him.]

[in part, he realises that he's taking things for granted.]

[his lips become a thin line, and it's almost like he's hesitating, twisting the cap of his bottle closed... but, before he says anything, and before rosalind bothers to interrupt his thoughts with more questions, prompto surges forward and hugs her.]

[being taller than her means that he gets to hunch over a bit, but there's sincerity and genuine affection in the embrace.]

[rosalind worried enough about him--enough to find him in his apartment and take him out for a walk, even buy him a water bottle. his chest feels tight, honestly.]

[when he pulls away, he's hardly apologetic, but his voice is small]

Thank you for caring about me.

[Of all the things she was expecting, that wasn't it. Rosalind stares over Prompto's shoulder, her eyes wide, her arms held a little awkwardly at her sides as she tries to understand what's happening. He's . . . hugging her. He's hugging her, and for the life of her, Rosalind doesn't understand why.

And further, frustratingly, she doesn't understand why she doesn't understand.

Why shouldn't he hug her? She'd been kind in coming over and taking him out. She cares about him, and yes, that's unusual for her, but it's not unheard of. Doesn't she care for Noctis? Ardyn? Fawkes? She has her loved ones, so why should this sudden display of affection leave her so shocked?

(Because it's not him, some quiet part of her heart whispers, too faint to be heard. It's because it's not him and he's the only one, it's always been him and her, she and her gentleman, he's the only person--)

She's being foolish, she thinks, and closes her arms around him for a long few seconds before he draws back.]

Prompto . . .

[Her smile is uncertain at the edges, but that's nothing to do with him, not at all.]

. . . all that I said extends to myself, as well. I shan't leave you if you make a mistake, or vex me in some way.

Edited 2017-07-28 01:17 (UTC)

[he nods, sudden determination in his eyes. he's a little ashamed to have hugged rosalind without any kind of warning or context, really, but he tries to be a brave boy about it.]

[showing feelings is not a weakness]

I guess I owe a couple of people an apology.

[For just a moment, there and gone, Rosalind thinks to push her hand through his hair. But that's a childish impulse, silly and too affectionate, and so she curls her fingers and keeps them at her side.]

Was there a fight?

Kind of?

[an uncomfortable shift, and prompto starts walking, waiting for rosalind]

...so, like, I got a gun, right? Retrospec sent it to me. Found it in my mirror cupboard, actually, but I just knew it is mine. I actually went for safety classes, right... but, so, I told Ardyn about it, and he got angry at me because I hadn't told him earlier, then he sent officer Togusa to give me shit about safety and whatnot.

I was annoyed.

[they were treating me like a kid]

[She's a little surprised at Ardyn's reaction, truth be told. He's a caring man, but he only seems to get vexed when someone he loves puts themselves in danger. Certainly he's gotten annoyed with her a few times, but that was because she tends to get a little reckless in her enthusiasm for experimentation.

But it doesn't sound as though Prompto was waving it about. Perhaps he was, of course; he is young, and certainly a gift like that is exciting. (God knows she'd been fair foolish with her own gifts from Retrospec, but that's neither here nor there). But . . . angry because I hadn't told him, no, that is strange.]

Why did he expect you to tell him?

[She falls into step next to him, sipping at her water.]

...I guess he kind of feels responsible for me.

[like a dad, is what prompto knows but doesn't say. it's true enough.]

[he shrugs his shoulders]

I probably should have, but I wanted to sort it out by myself first.

[She tips her head in acknowledgement of that, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.]

. . . so he got angry. And did you argue with him?

I basically hung up on him.

[And then he'd texted her, panicky and in tears, because such an action would surely come with terrible repercussions.

What had he said? I know Ardyn expects more of me but I can't bring myself to be 100% honest all the time, that certainly makes more sense now, doesn't it?]

Well. That, at least, deserves an apology. But I don't know if keeping your weapon from him does. That's something you two are going to have to sort out on your own, I suspect.

[he glances at her, fidgeting with his bottle. it's a nervous tic although he doesn't realise it at all, when he fidgets with his hands]

You think he'll really want to talk to me again?

Of course he will.

[She doesn't hesitate for a moment on that answer.]

He doesn't scare away so easily, to begin with. He's not so fickle as to give up on a friendship simply because of a few harsh words; he and I never would have lasted if that were the case. And besides which . . . it's an argument based on the fact that he cares about you, enough to grow angry that you kept something potentially dangerous from him.

[A few seconds pass, and she adds:]

Trust the logic of it, if not the sentiment. The evidence points in your favor.

Yeah. The evidence...

[then he looks back up at her, turning his head]

I imagine what I feel about him... is a lot like a dad. Him, being like a dad, I mean.

[that's embarrassing]

...and now that the embarrassing's out of the way, [he's actually flushing] I just don't wanna let him down. I don't know what standards are there to keep.

[It's not entirely a surprise that Prompto feels that, but still Rosalind smiles faintly to hear it. Good, then. One could do a lot worse than Ardyn Izunia to look up to as a father figure; he's caring and warm, sweet without being soppy. God knows her first instinct is to flee to him when she's upset; small wonder Prompto feels such a thing.]

I don't know if there are any standards, really.

[She thinks briefly of her own father, but dismisses the thought almost immediately. He was-- is, really, he's still alive-- a distant man, cold and disapproving; there's nothing to be learned from him.]

I don't think you'll disappoint him, though. All you have to do is act like yourself.

..I'll try to be a little better than just myself.

[is what he says quietly, smiling distantly at rosalind's vote of confidence. having others believe in him is actually pretty nice.]

[they're approaching the red car again, and it's only now that prompto notices it. it's so out of place here, it's most likely rosalind's. it's... most definitely hers, really. prompto removes his hat and fixes about his hair a bit.]

Walking helped.

I'm glad.

[She means it, too. Rosalind glances up at him, then towards her car. They're at his home, and presumably that means they ought to part ways, but . . . well. There's something about his smile she doesn't like. It's genuine, that's for certain, but it's slight and wavering, and she doesn't feel good about leaving him be.

She glances up at him again. His hair's still mussed from the hat, and this time Rosalind gives into her impulse: she leans up, brushing her fingers through his hair, smoothing it out. Her fingers are slender and cool, and though it only lasts for a few seconds, she's attentive in her task.

But she won't linger. After a few moments, she steps back and says briskly:]

Want a ride?

[he is surprised at her touch to his hair, feeling a lot like a young boy. it's a nice feeling though, is what he thinks, and he's appreciative of it. he finally stops fidgeting with his hands, now that that's done with.]

[at her question, he can't help but feel a bit... confused. his place is right here, isn't it?]

[--oh]

Would it be okay to go to a bakery?

Of course.

[She smiles as she heads towards the driver's seat. Someday, maybe, possibly, she'll let him try driving it, because while she loves her car, she's also growing increasingly fond of Prompto, and surely that's a treat.

But for now, it's enough that he'll get a thrill out of riding in it. The ride is fantastically smooth, the engine so silent you can barely hear it, and Rosalind adores pushing past the speed limit.]

Hungry for something in particular?

[this car is so pristine inside and out that prompto's afraid of moving around too much.]

[at her questions, he edges around for an answer, settles for keeping his eyes out on the road... considering... and then turning to glance back at her]

I wanna buy a cheesecake. Noct likes sweet things.

[??]

--do you also like sweet things? Would you want some?

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