originallutece | (no subject)

[ His stomach is in knots. Noctis rubs the back of his neck and starts to, meekly, let his gaze flit towards Rosalind. ]

That about covers it.

[All right. That's an issue, certainly, but it isn't an unusual one. Rosalind's smile turns a little nicer.]

Well. Let's start with you telling me what you feel, hm?

[ Noctis rests his hands at his lap, just after leaning forward to set his mug down again. ]

Cliche as it might sound? Confused.

Confused because you've never felt that way about a boy before, or confused because you feel that about a friend?

I... Guess both.

[ Noctis tilts his head to the side, looking up in thought. ]

But Prompto's just a friend. I don't think I feel that kind of way about him.

[Hmm. To her credit, she isn't smiling anymore; she's taking this quite seriously.]

Have you tried, ah, thinking about other men in such a way?

[ He thinks on that. ]

No. I've actually been trying to avoid it up until now.

I'd recommend it. That's what I did when this sort of thing happened to me-- it helped me understand if what I felt was for women in general or this girl specifically.

[ That... Makes him nervous. Mostly because he truly doesn't think that's the case, but he's also not 100% certain either. Ever since he'd gotten out of the hospital, things have been strange. He doesn't want to risk a rift in what he and Prompto has.

But what Rosalind says still piques his interests. Particularly that last part. He raises a brow, looking at her. ]

You... Had a thing for another girl?

[She pauses for a few seconds, not so much reluctant to tell him as naturally private. But it's not a secret.]

Very much so. I was in love with my college roommate for the better part of a year.

[ Something shifts. Noctis relaxes just a bit in knowing that Rosalind has gone through something like this. Whether it's similar to his experience or not, he's not entirely sure yet. ]

How did that go?

[Another pause.]

Victoria was very . . . vivacious. Very bright. I was sixteen and she was twenty, and beautiful, and charismatic. It was hard for even the most experienced people not to be pulled in by her, and I wasn't particularly well socialized, so you can well imagine how dazzled I was. I was desperate to have her notice me, and each time she did I felt as though I was on top of the world.

But it was a one-sided affair, unfortunately.

[Though they'd at least made out once, one drunken night, but she won't say that, because there's some things you don't share with your son.]

That being said: I did have a girlfriend once, later on. And that worked out far better.

[ Noctis listens intently, paying close attention because, while it's not identical to his situation? There's still enough in the explanation here for him to make a connection to.

Still, the second he tries to even fit Prompto in there, it's like his brain puts up a wall in front of it. ]

I mean...

It only happened one time. I could just be overthinking the situation. Haven't exactly had a close friend like him before either?

[ He doesn't want to be in a one-sided situation like that. Suddenly, Noctis isn't taking much comfort from the story. ]

Then ask yourself: do you only want his attention? Or do you want him to kiss you?

[ He veers back from her so fast. ]

That's... A pretty loaded question, don't you think?

Not particularly. I'm not about to go and tell him no matter what your answer is, Noctis, and it's a reliable method of checking.

[She tips her head at him, entirely unperturbed.]

It's not unusual to want to be the center of someone's attention. But when you start craving their company above all others, when you start to think of them in all the idle moments of your day, when you're not certain . . . it's best to think of something firm and inarguable like that.

[ Noctis' face is incredibly red, but he keeps a pretty level head. It's not that he's scared or uncomfortable, he's just confused. Uncertain. He sighs again as he rubs at his face, really trying to think of a proper answer for the question, but he's not entirely sure what to say. Or if he even wants to say it. ]

What, was asking yourself something like that when you were younger what helped?

Yes.

[There's a bit of color on her cheeks now, but Rosalind's voice is perfectly steady.]

I asked myself what I'd do if she were to, ah, to make a pass at me. What my reaction would be, and I forced myself to think about each outcome.

[ What?

Not at all something Noctis could ever imagine before this. While her cheeks get red, his face seems to get hotter. The advice is... Sound. Not completely out of left field, considering the subject, but putting Prompto in the picture?

If he were to make a pass at him? What would he... ]

--!

[ Noctis shakes his head fast. Nope, nope. ]

I don't... Think that would be appropriate to do in your house.

[ He turns his head, sitting up straight and crossing his legs, one hand covering his mouth. ]

I'm good. Don't think that's necessary.

I said imagine, Noctis, not anything further than that.

[ If his eyes open any wider, they would fall out of his head. Noctis' hand is still over his mouth and he is visibly tense. ]

I wasn't suggesting anything further.

[ He lowers his hand, closing his eyes and waving dismissively. Almost defiant in tone. ]

And I'm not going to imagine Prompto making a move on me.

Suit yourself.

[She won't press, not anymore. Rosalind finally sips her cocoa again, draining the mug. She's smiling, but it's fond, at least.]

Sexuality aside . . . thinking about someone eagerly and repeatedly is a fairly sure sign of affection. That's how it's worked for all my relationships.

[ Oh god, this conversation got incredibly embarrassing really fast. Thanks for that, Mom. ]

Isn't that what friends do normally? There's no way what we do is weird for that.

Not . . .

[Okay, how to say this without actually saying this? Hm.]

It isn't just that you want to spend time with them. It's that they occupy your thoughts constantly. It's that your every thought is about them, or so it seems. You're giddy when you speak to them, and you make up any excuse in the world to see them, no matter how flimsy. It's . . . it's a rush, almost, especially in this stage.

[. . .]

Trust me when I say I know what it is to feel something for someone close to you, and not be certain what it is, or if it's that kind of affection.

[ All flustered entertainment aside, Noctis starts to simmer down when Rosalind clarifies. His shoulders slack a bit, gaze staring at her rather wide-eyed when everything she says makes too much sense, but falling to something somber again as he looks away and down to the floor.

He can't be absolutely positive that this is what's going on. Prompto might as well be his first friend, so how is he to know that this is just how he feels for the first close companion he's ever had? There's nothing to compare to. And his head hasn't exactly been in the right place lately. ]

Mmfh.

[ He rubs his face, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. ]

Okay, so... Let's say in a hypothetical situation.

[ A shrug with one shoulder, a forcibly aloof expression and tone: ]

That's what's happening. Then what?