originallutece | (no subject)

I've never been in the unfortunate situation of having to deal with someone close to me who doesn't know the app. The closest has been a dear friend of mine-- two of them, now, actually-- but even then, though it hurts, it hasn't stung as a family member might.

I suppose it makes it easier to explain your absence, but I can't imagine it's at all easy to return after a month of absence to find someone hadn't been searching for you.

It's not. It's very lonely, to disappear and later discover that your disappearance didn't seem to make much of a difference at all.

...

Not making a difference. Now there's something that's never been easy for me to accept.

It's not a descriptor I'd ascribe to you, not now.

But I suspect if you're feeling it after this month, looking at past accomplishments isn't going to do much, is it?

When was the last time you felt it?

Failing to make a difference? ...If I had to take a guess, I'd have to say it was around when I was fifteen years old. But that's only a guess.

Was there any particular reason at fifteen?

It's when my second father became my second father.

And how did he?

I don't think you really need me to spell it out for you, do you?

I can guess. But if you'd like to talk about it, I'm not opposed to hearing about it.

...You know, I told Ardyn Izunia that when I got back home and all this mess was over, I was seriously considering sleeping on the roof beneath the stars for the next foreseeable future.

It wasn't as much of an exaggeration as one might've hoped.

I'd be sick of stars if I were you-- but I suppose it would be nice to be somewhere where there's no restrictions.

Do you want company? I shan't sleep there, but I can at least sit with you for a bit.

That's exactly it — no restrictions.

And I'll never turn down the chance to see you, if you're willing. It's not going to take up too much of your time?

I may bring along some work, if only to pick your brain over how I ought to space out some of my biology lessons, but no, it hardly will. I assume you're near home?

Mmhmm, I'm on the front terrace. I'll buzz you through the gate when you get here.

And I thought you had an assistant to help sort out your lessons? Not that I mind offering my opinion, but I'm surprised I'm your first choice.

He's my assistant no longer. I'm going to have to end up hiring one at this rate, frankly; I suppose I forgot just how much busywork I ended up delegating to him.

[DOT DOT DOT there's such a noticeable pause, and then:]

I'm dating him. I suppose I could still shove the work on him, but it seems crueler to do that to a boyfriend than an assistant.

OHO.

[Yes, for a minute that's literally all she's getting.]

That's your brilliant Ph.D. student, isn't it? The one with the paper on...what was it, magic as explained by physics?

[DON'T OHO AT HER]

Yes. He's going to publish it soon.

You have good taste. A doctor, for my favorite doctor.

He's going to get jealous if you keep complimenting me so highly.

I'm on my way now; I'll be there in about twenty minutes.

[Or thirty; she's been risking breaking speed limits too often lately to want to risk it tonight. But half an hour later, there she is, waiting to be buzzed in before heading towards the familiar red-and-black figure.]

[The best word for Carmen's residence of choice in Recolle is, frankly, "unnecessary". Between the gated entry that slides open like a whisper when Rosalind draws close and waits to be admitted, to the long winding drive up to the house past a beautifully-landscaped lawn, to the manor-sized house that could comfortably house twenty yet in practice only holds a single woman and her cat — well, frankly, it's just another testament to the fact that the woman seems incapable of doing anything halfway, ever.

As promised, she can be found waiting on the terrace when Rosalind pulls up, stretched out in a lawn chair and reading what appears to be a book of proverbs, with a pair of sunglasses sitting neatly on her nose and her bare legs crossed at the ankles with a pair of red heels sitting discarded on the ground nearby.]

There you are. The gate didn't give you any trouble?

Not particularly.

[She's dressed much the same she always is: sensibly and with practicality more in mind than attractiveness. There is a scarf around her neck, but that may too be thanks for practicality. Flapping a hand, she waits until Carmen moves her legs to the side before taking a seat.]

What are you reading?

Kotozawa.

[She says, with a perfect Japanese accent, as she shifts obligingly to make room for Rosalind to join her.]

It's a book of Japanese proverbs my mentor once gave me. So, for example, koketsu ni irazunba koji o ezu — one who refuses to enter the tiger's cave will never catch its cub. Or, for the English equivalent: nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[She settles in, trying to go over the Japanese in her mind. She knows about four words in Japanese, and none of them particularly useful, but perhaps she ought to start looking more into it.]

I rather like the comparisons between societies like that.

[She offers a slight smile.]

The ways entirely different sayings turn out to be the same thing, because people tend to think the same way. You tend to see it more in myths-- the same kinds of themes tend to crop up time and again, despite the fact they originated from all over the world.

Which is your favorite proverb?

I have to pick just one?

[She laughs softly, setting the book aside and stretching in place as she settles comfortably back in — evidently for the long haul.]

It tends to change with my mood, certainly. But I suppose I'll always come back to nanakorobi yaoki — "Fall seven times and stand up eight."

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